Clik here to view.
Slaughterhouse Rock (Dimitri Logothetis, 1988)
Are you sitting down? (Do I have to?) No, I really think you should be sitting down to hear what I'm about to say. Okay, so, there's this horror movie from the late 1980s called "Slaughterhouse Rock."...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Blood Games (Tanya Rosenberg, 1990)
We can all agree that unchecked masculinity can be a lot of things. Harmful, pernicious, sexy, and even poisonous at times, masculinity is a sickness. But toxic? I wouldn't go that far. Or would I?...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Dune (David Lynch, 1984)
Call me crazy, but I think there might be a connection between the spice and the worms. What that connection is, I'm not entirely sure. But what I do know is... Oh, wait. Virginia Madsen has started...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Pretty in Pink (Howard Deutch, 1986)
As they're leaving Trax to go on their first date, Blane asks Andie, "So, do you wanna go home and change"? Obviously implying that what she is currently wearing is not appropriate first date attire....
View ArticleClik here to view.
Some Kind of Wonderful (Howard Deutch, 1987)
The act of re-watching some of my favourite movies with trans-tinted glasses over the past two or three months has been quite the rewarding experience. Like, did you know Dr. Caligari is the ultimate...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Latex (Michael Ninn, 1995)
After scanning my retina for, oh, I'd say, a minute or two, Michael Ninn's Latex finally granted me access to its shiny, dystopic, dysphoria-causing universe. (Hold up. The first two I understand. But...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Yum-Yum's Transition A Go-Go! (Me, 2017) - WARNING: This is not a movie review
Hey, cult movie fans, loyal readers, and miscellaneous weirdos and perverts. What's happening? I hope you're all doing well. It just dawned on me that I haven't posted a new movie review in quite some...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Babyface 2 (Alex de Renzy, 1986)
Ahh, look at me. I'm staring in the general direction of a motion picture of some kind, and, get this, I want to write words about it for some inexplicable reason. Now, I wasn't entirely sure if they...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Blood Rage (John Grissmer, 1987)
If your twin sons were running around an expansive Jacksonville, Florida apartment complex murdering people with a machete, you'd drink multiple glasses of wine, too. And you'd probably vacuum the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Convulsion Expulsion (Usama Alshaibi, 2004)
I want to bleed like Echoplasm does in Usama Alshaibi's Convulsion Expulsion. Goddammit! Whose dick do I need to suck in order to make this happen?Arrrgh! Don't mind me, I'm crestfallen. After not...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Slaughtered Pigtails (Usama Alshaibi, 2001)
If only every slasher movie was this short and to the point.Thank you, Slaughtered Pigtails. Thank you for not wasting my time. 💓💓💓 A sort of Ukrainian woman (Echo Transgression) is chased across a...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Self-Contained (Usama Alshaibi, 2004)
In Self-Contained, Usama Alshaibi films Kristie Alshaibi lying on a hardwood floor covered in plastic wrap.Who knows what kind of craziness will transpire... Oh, wait a second. She just got out of...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Traumata (Usama Alshaibi, 2005)
Yeah, I can totally relate to this... I wore a blister bandage on my back for a full year.(You had a blister on your back?)No, don't be silly. I used a blister bandage because I had read that this...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Spoiled (Usama Alshaibi, 2008)
OMG! Am I completely mental, or did Forever 21 at one time sell cow print makeup bags with the word "spoiled" written on the side?!?I know I could do some research and probably find this out in a...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Patient (Usama Alshaibi, 2008)
Naked woman? ✅ Naked woman wearing a bandage? ✅Writhing? ✅Couch? ✅ Torn black knee-high stockings? ✅Bongo music? ✅A shot of the sky to increase the profundity factor? ✅Um❓❓❓❓ 🐌🐌🐌🐌 I think that...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Runaway (Usama Alshaibi, 2008)
A young naked woman dances sheepishly in the dark to dark ambient music (with Del Shannon undertones).A light shines on her occasionally. This light seems to make her even more sheepish.The film is...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Organ Molly (Usama Alshaibi, 2008)
I just watched Molly Plunk lounge irregularly on a mattress to organ music.ORGAN is an HOMONYMMolly has organs but they're inside her body for the duration of this film.Just in case her skin fails to...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Gash (Usama Alshaibi, 2008)
Always writhing, always opening their oral cavities in ways that are clearly unorthodox.This is Gash... and there is a gash. It's on Katinka's pelvis.It's pretty infected...The gash, that is.Wait. Is...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Amateurs (Usama Alshaibi, 2003)
I don't remember François Truffaut or Karen Finley being mentioned in any of Ed Powers' depressing Dirty Debutantes movies. But then again, I haven't seen all that many (THANK GOD!!!!!). I can see a...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Trash (Paul Morrissey, 1970)
At first I was like: Just give him the damn shoes! Then it suddenly dawned on me. Fuck no. Don't give that motherfucker your shoes. Sure, you can buy another pair once the welfare checks start rolling...
View Article