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The Bondage Master (Hitoshi Hoshino, 1996)
The ropes press tightly into your flesh as you lay sprawled out on the table like a piece of meat. You try to break free, but the more you struggle, the tighter the ropes become. Suddenly, midway...
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American Cyborg: Steel Warrior (Boaz Davidson, 1993)
They say the eyes are the window to the soul. Yeah, but they didn't say anything about these soul-baring windows being bay windows, now did they? Just to make sure that my analogy made sense, I looked...
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976-EVIL 2 (Jim Wynorski, 1992)
A lot of people have this misguided notion that the 1980s ended when the calendar flipped over to 1990. However, as 976-EVIL 2 (a.k.a. 976-EVIL 2: The Astral Factor) constantly points out, the spirit...
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State Park (Rafal Zielinski, 1988)
Three friends enter Weewankah Park located in the wilds of Michigan... (Hold up. Aren't you going to bemoan the fact that this film is yet another Canadian production pretending to be American?) Nah,...
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The Untold Story (Herman Yau, 1993)
It's official, Anthony Wong is my new favourite actor. Sure, I've only seen him in Herman Yau's The Untold Story (the film I'm currently writing about), and Herman Yau's Taxi Hunter, but based on the...
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Friday the 13th Part III (Steve Miner, 1982)
Just a second, I want to listen to the theme song from this movie one more time before I begin. And... done. As usual, I was in a foul mood before I sat down to watch Friday the 13th Part III, the...
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Ebola Syndrome (Herman Yau, 1996)
Bloodied and battered, a haggard-looking, pee-stained Anthony Wong stands over his victims in triumph. Shortly after removing the tongue of his lover with a pair of scissors, Anthony Wong turns his...
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Quicksilver (Tom Donnelly, 1986)
Would someone get these guys some helmets, was my first thought as I watched Kevin Bacon, Laurence Fishburne (Band of the Hand), Paul Rodriguez and Louis Anderson whiz through Manhattan traffic on...
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Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (Joseph Zito, 1984)
In order to prevent myself from experiencing Friday the 13th fatigue, I recently decided to start watch 'em two at a time. At first I thought I had made the right call, as I wasn't experiencing any...
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Mod Fuck Explosion (Jon Moritsugu, 1994)
What the fuck, I don't remember the 1990s ever being like this. It just goes to show that even someone as exceedingly cool as myself can miss out on certain key events. And believe me, Mod Fuck...
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Fame Whore (Jon Moritsugu, 1997)
Roughly three years after bringing us the super-cool mods vs. bikers epic, Mod Fuck Explosion, writer-director Jon Moritsugu returns with Fame Whore, a movie that features three separate stories...
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Rock Hard (Bob Vosse, 1985)
I've read that in the early days of MTV, the then music video channel would play just about anything. Now, this policy had nothing to do with MTV being open-minded or adventurous, it was like that...
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Perdita Durango (Álex de la Iglesia, 1997)
Despite having a lead character who sports what I consider to be one of the greatest haircuts of all-time and opening with a shot of Rosie Perez's booty in all its mid-90s glory, I was still on the...
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Totally Fucked Up (Gregg Araki, 1993)
Since I'm a bad boy who doesn't play by the motherfuckin' rules (that's right, I said doesn't), it only makes sense that I watch the first chapter of Gregg Araki's Teenage Apocalypse Trilogy last. And...
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Runaway (Michael Crichton, 1984)
It's easy to sit back and laugh at bold predictions that fail to materialize in works of speculative science fiction that came out thirty years ago. However, just because evil bastards who look like...
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Deviations (Domingo Lobo, 1983)
The producers of Deviations must have read my review for Rock Hard (or the very least, skimmed it), as it manages to avoid many of the same mistakes that film made. If you recall, my biggest complaint...
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Mosquito on the 10th Floor (Yôichi Sai, 1983)
Who would have thought that a casual stroll through the Sharp Store would lead to the world's most intense mid-life crisis. I know, there's no such thing as a "Sharp Store," or maybe there is (I really...
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3:15 (Larry Gross, 1986)
When I saw Lori Eastside hanging out with the Cobras, the baddest street gang this side of Wilshire Blvd., in the opening scene of 3:15 (a.k.a. Showdown at Lincoln High), I thought to myself: Yay! Add...
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Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives! (Jean-Claude Lord, 1989)
Instead of wracking my brain trying to figure out this film's timeline, I should just listen to Eddie Wilson when he says: "It's about the music, man." While I have to admit, that's some top notch...
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Squalor Motel (Kim Christy, 1985)
Despite the fact that there's a good chance that a disgusting man (one in a pig mask wearing ill-fitting lingerie) will be watching your every move, I still wouldn't mind spending the night or two at...
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