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Demolition High (Jim Wynorski, 1996)
What the hell? I don't believe this, but it looks like I just dragged myself away from playing Borderlands 2* to write about a film where Dick Van Patten (Spaceballs) plays a four star general and...
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Turkish Mad Max (Çetin Inanç, 1983)
Are they cops? I doubt it. Are they secret agents? In a past life maybe. Are they badasses? Most definitely. Oh, hi, don't mind me, I'm just trying to determine the profession of the three lead...
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Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (Joseph Zito, 1984)
In order to prevent myself from experiencing Friday the 13th fatigue, I recently decided to start watch 'em two at a time. At first I thought I had made the right call, as I wasn't experiencing any...
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The Passion of Darkly Noon (Philip Ridley, 1995)
When I saw a blonde Ashley Judd slowly emerge from the ceaseless forest wearing a pair of blue jeans at the beginning of The Passion of Darkly Noon, I thought to myself: Does she really think she's...
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Cobra (George P. Cosmatos, 1986)
How long do you think the members of so-called "New Order" knock their axes together? I'm no expert when it comes to ritualistic axe knocking, but I'd say no longer than five minutes. Sure, the Night...
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Ebola Syndrome (Herman Yau, 1996)
Bloodied and battered, a haggard-looking, pee-stained Anthony Wong stands over his victims in triumph. Shortly after removing the tongue of his lover with a pair of scissors, Anthony Wong turns his...
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Quicksilver (Tom Donnelly, 1986)
Would someone get these guys some helmets, was my first thought as I watched Kevin Bacon, Laurence Fishburne (Band of the Hand), Paul Rodriguez and Louis Anderson whiz through Manhattan traffic on...
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Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (Joseph Zito, 1984)
In order to prevent myself from experiencing Friday the 13th fatigue, I recently decided to start watch 'em two at a time. At first I thought I had made the right call, as I wasn't experiencing any...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Mod Fuck Explosion (Jon Moritsugu, 1994)
What the fuck, I don't remember the 1990s ever being like this. It just goes to show that even someone as exceedingly cool as myself can miss out on certain key events. And believe me, Mod Fuck...
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Automatic (John Murlowski, 1995)
E-mail? Dental scans? Self-healing automatons? Ponytail-sporting badasses wielding CornerShots? Annabelle Gurwitch playing a character with a Japanese surname? Either, I've totally lost control of my...
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Vibrations (Michael Paseornek, 1996)
Utah Saints! Utah Saints! Utah Saints! U-u-u-u-u-u-tah Saints! Ooh, I just knew something good was gonna happen when I saw that Vibrations, the ultimate how-to guide on how to be a double-amputee...
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Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (Joseph Zito, 1984)
In order to prevent myself from experiencing Friday the 13th fatigue, I recently decided to start watch 'em two at a time. At first I thought I had made the right call, as I wasn't experiencing any...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Mod Fuck Explosion (Jon Moritsugu, 1994)
What the fuck, I don't remember the 1990s ever being like this. It just goes to show that even someone as exceedingly cool as myself can miss out on certain key events. And believe me, Mod Fuck...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Fame Whore (Jon Moritsugu, 1997)
Roughly three years after bringing us the super-cool mods vs. bikers epic, Mod Fuck Explosion, writer-director Jon Moritsugu returns with Fame Whore, a movie that features three separate stories...
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Rock Hard (Bob Vosse, 1985)
I've read that in the early days of MTV, the then music video channel would play just about anything. Now, this policy had nothing to do with MTV being open-minded or adventurous, it was like that...
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Career Bed (Joel M. Reed, 1969)
Is Mrs. Potter the worst mother in cinematic history? Or is she the best? I know, those of you who have seen Career Bed are probably wondering why I posed my question regarding Mrs. Potter's parenting...
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Mod Fuck Explosion (Jon Moritsugu, 1994)
What the fuck, I don't remember the 1990s ever being like this. It just goes to show that even someone as exceedingly cool as myself can miss out on certain key events. And believe me, Mod Fuck...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Fame Whore (Jon Moritsugu, 1997)
Roughly three years after bringing us the super-cool mods vs. bikers epic, Mod Fuck Explosion, writer-director Jon Moritsugu returns with Fame Whore, a movie that features three separate stories...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Rock Hard (Bob Vosse, 1985)
I've read that in the early days of MTV, the then music video channel would play just about anything. Now, this policy had nothing to do with MTV being open-minded or adventurous, it was like that...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Perdita Durango (Álex de la Iglesia, 1997)
Despite having a lead character who sports what I consider to be one of the greatest haircuts of all-time and opening with a shot of Rosie Perez's booty in all its mid-90s glory, I was still on the...
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