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Body Melt (Philip Brophy, 1993)
What's with you people? Didn't I ask you some time ago to recommend movies to me that feature milfy women who wield syringes filled with iridescent liquid? Well, I just watched Body Melt. Anyone care...
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Night Warning (William Asher, 1982)
Let me quickly start things off by giving all you fine folks out there some free advice: Never turn your back on Susan Tyrrell when she's holding a meat cleaver. I don't care if it seems like she's in...
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Fame Whore (Jon Moritsugu, 1997)
Roughly three years after bringing us the super-cool mods vs. bikers epic, Mod Fuck Explosion, writer-director Jon Moritsugu returns with Fame Whore, a movie that features three separate stories...
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Rock Hard (Bob Vosse, 1985)
I've read that in the early days of MTV, the then music video channel would play just about anything. Now, this policy had nothing to do with MTV being open-minded or adventurous, it was like that...
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Perdita Durango (Álex de la Iglesia, 1997)
Despite having a lead character who sports what I consider to be one of the greatest haircuts of all-time and opening with a shot of Rosie Perez's booty in all its mid-90s glory, I was still on the...
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Totally Fucked Up (Gregg Araki, 1993)
Since I'm a bad boy who doesn't play by the motherfuckin' rules (that's right, I said doesn't), it only makes sense that I watch the first chapter of Gregg Araki's Teenage Apocalypse Trilogy last. And...
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Runaway (Michael Crichton, 1984)
It's easy to sit back and laugh at bold predictions that fail to materialize in works of speculative science fiction that came out thirty years ago. However, just because evil bastards who look like...
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Hologram Man (Richard Pepin, 1995)
I don't mean to start off on a somber note, but what I'd like to know is: Who, if anyone, is going to bury all the henchmen and cops that are killed throughout this action-heavy sci-fi action movie?...
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Nightbeast (Don Dohler, 1982)
Who is this "Nightbeast"? Where did he come from? And, most importantly, what does he want? These and countless other questions are never answered, nor are they asked in Nightbeast, the Don Dohler...
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Perdita Durango (Álex de la Iglesia, 1997)
Despite having a lead character who sports what I consider to be one of the greatest haircuts of all-time and opening with a shot of Rosie Perez's booty in all its mid-90s glory, I was still on the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Totally Fucked Up (Gregg Araki, 1993)
Since I'm a bad boy who doesn't play by the motherfuckin' rules (that's right, I said doesn't), it only makes sense that I watch the first chapter of Gregg Araki's Teenage Apocalypse Trilogy last. And...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Runaway (Michael Crichton, 1984)
It's easy to sit back and laugh at bold predictions that fail to materialize in works of speculative science fiction that came out thirty years ago. However, just because evil bastards who look like...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Deviations (Domingo Lobo, 1983)
The producers of Deviations must have read my review for Rock Hard (or the very least, skimmed it), as it manages to avoid many of the same mistakes that film made. If you recall, my biggest complaint...
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The Hand of Death (Anders Palm, 1988)
To be perfectly honest, if this film was simply a series of scenes that featured leggy English women lounging around in stockings and pantyhose for ninety minutes, I still wouldn't hesitate to declare...
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Campus Cuties (Paul Vatelli, 1985)
What kind of English class has a poster of the periodic table on the wall? Did the person in charge of props (the prop master) and the writer not consult with one another during pre-production? How...
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The Pussywillows (Bobby Hollander, 1985)
I don't know why it took me so long to get off my butt and review this erotic masterpiece. But here it is, the one everyone has been patiently waiting for, my review of Bobby Hollander's The...
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Broken Dolls (Jess Franco, 1999)
First off. Yes, the date is correct. This film was in fact made in 1999. I know, when most of you think of Jess Franco, you automatically think of the 1960s, 1970s, or maybe even the 1980s. But the...
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Pretty Peaches (Alex de Renzy, 1978)
Is it okay if I use the word "spunk" to describe Desiree Cousteau's performance in Alex de Renzy's Pretty Peaches? The only reason I ask is because I'm sure lot's of other people have used the word...
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Mosquito on the 10th Floor (Yôichi Sai, 1983)
Who would have thought that a casual stroll through the Sharp Store would lead to the world's most intense mid-life crisis. I know, there's no such thing as a "Sharp Store," or maybe there is (I really...
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3:15 (Larry Gross, 1986)
When I saw Lori Eastside hanging out with the Cobras, the baddest street gang this side of Wilshire Blvd., in the opening scene of 3:15 (a.k.a. Showdown at Lincoln High), I thought to myself: Yay! Add...
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