Clik here to view.
Braindead (Peter Jackson, 1992)
Like any normal, red-blooded, fake Lithuanian, I love gore. But after watching Braindead (a.k.a. Dead Alive) for the first time the other day, I've noticed that my love of gore has gone down a few pegs...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Backdoor Club (Jack Remy, 1985)
While the anus-loosening methods used by the A-Busters in White Bunbusters to get American women to open the final section of their large intestines to penis traffic might seem crude by comparison,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Jungle Virgin Force (Danu Umbara, 1988)
Even though it contains a shitload of stuff that I wholeheartedly approve of, it took quite some time for Jungle Virgin Force (a.k.a. Perawan rimba) to give me something to latch onto. Let me put it...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Hackers (Iain Softley, 1995)
I've heard that the net is vast and infinite. I've also heard that the sky over the port is the colour of television tuned to a dead channel. And while I'm not on the topic: "You're no good for me, I...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Inferno (Dario Argento, 1980)
When most of us get a hankering to explore the subterranean depths of creepy big city apartment buildings, we dress appropriately. Meaning, we don't wear pleated skirts, puffy blouses and strappy...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Porky's (Bob Clark, 1981)
It's finally come to this. I'm writing about Bob Clark's Porky's, the most successful Canadian movie of all-time. What's that? You didn't know Porky's was Canadian? Yeah, well, it is. Whenever you see...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Ultraviolet (Kurt Wimmer, 2006)
While most people, after they finish watching Kurt Wimmer's ultra-lame Ultraviolet, tend to focus on Milla Jovovich's never not unexposed midriff or that ridiculous nostril filter doohickey Nick...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Æon Flux (Karyn Kusama, 2005)
It's been widely noted in the annals of noteworthiness that the creator of the Æon Flux universe, Peter Chung, felt helpless, humiliated and sad as he watched Æon Flux, the Hollywood adaptation of his...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Satan's Blood (Carlos Puerto, 1978)
First off, I just want to say how happy I am to be nuzzling up against the pulsating bosom that is Euro-sleaze. It's been too long. Don't get me wrong, I like other genres, too. It's just that I feel...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Bad Influence (Curtis Hanson, 1990)
Let's say you're a yuppie who has it all. It's 1990, you got a sweet apartment (one that is filled with the kind of stuff yuppies like), you live in a nice neighbourhood, you're engaged to be married...
View ArticleClik here to view.
It Follows (David Robert Mitchell, 2014)
Instead of knocking them out with a chloroform-soaked rag and then tying them to a wheelchair in an abandoned factory, wouldn't it be easier to enlighten the person you have selected to pass on your...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Teeth (Mitchell Lichtenstein, 2007)
Three cocks fall to the ground in Teeth after being gnawed off by a vengeful vagina. The former owners of each fallen cock reacts differently as they stare at their once attached members. Just kidding,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Craft (Andrew Flemming, 1996)
Even though there are four chicks on the poster, only one of them is giving off what I would consider a Goth vibe. I mean, what gives, The Craft, mid-90s gothploitation yarn about a trio of teen...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Doctor Detroit (Michael Pressman, 1983)
Awash with the kind of politically incorrect humour that would most likely get you banished from today's overly sensitive outrage-verse, Doctor Detroit was originally intended to amuse the people of...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Happy Campers (Daniel Waters, 2001)
Damn you, Daniel Waters! Damn you for making me choose between Emily Bergl (Carrie 2: The Rage) and Dominique Swain (Lolita 2: The Quickening). I know, what about Jaime King? Screw that free spirit...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Shock 'Em Dead (Mark Freed, 1991)
Finally, a movie with the guts to expose the ugly truth behind the popularity of hair metal. I always knew the genre's inexplicable run as the music of choice for America's youth was voodoo-related. I...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Real Genius (Martha Coolidge, 1985)
In Real Genius, a ragtag group of university students at a Caltech-style California technical institute unwittingly help the U.S. military develop a powerful laser that will enable them to kill anyone...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Motel Sweets (Eric Edwards, 1987)
Did creepy men in raincoats still go to see "adult movies" in theatres back in 1987? If so, I wonder if any of them were as horrified as I was when they saw what porn had done to Taija Rae. Sure, she...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Spookies (1986)
Most people, at least the ones I've come across, seem fascinated by the fact that this film started off as a project call "Twisted Souls," directed by two guys named Brendan Faulkner and Thomas Doran....
View ArticleClik here to view.
Freejack (Geoff Murphy, 1992)
We've all been there. You're staring at your twenty year-old girlfriend, when all of a sudden, this kooky thought trickles through your mind: Why can't my twenty year-old girlfriend be a sexy woman...
View Article