Clik here to view.
Humanoids from the Deep (Barbara Peeters, 1980)
As we open in the murky depths of the waters just off the coast of Noyo, California, we can't help but notice a scaly, webbed hand pawing at a fishermen's net. Don't worry, I'm going to get into a...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Psychic (Lucio Fulci, 1977)
Just a second, I want to listen to the theme music from this film one more time before I officially begin. And...done. Because I just did that, I have to change my plans. You see, I was all set to...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Room (Tommy Wiseau, 2003)
What does one see when one views the human condition through the lens of a microscope? If you don't know the answer to this query, you clearly haven't been touched by The Room. Its surface might not be...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Suburbia (Penelope Spheeris, 1983)
Wild dogs tearing apart toddlers, shirtless skinheads sexually assaulting chic new wavers while Casey Royer looks on with a snotty brand of indifference, what has the world come to? Just kidding, I...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Deadfall (Christopher Coppola, 1993)
On top of being the perfect con, it was supposed to be his last con. But what if the perfect con turns out to be not-so perfect? Well, if that's the case, the chances that the not-so perfect con will...
View ArticleClik here to view.
City of the Living Dead (Lucio Fulci, 1980)
While most people seem obsessed with the scene where Michele Soavi's wide-eyed girlfriend literally pukes her own guts as a direct result of staring at a demonic priest for far too long, I'd like to...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Dudes (Penelope Spheeris, 1987)
Some might say the only genuine punk moment to take place in Penelope Spheeris'Dudes is when "Biscuit" asks "Hazekiah" (who's naming these people?) to sing "Holiday in Cambodia" by The Dead Kennedys...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tuff Turf (Fritz Kiersch, 1985)
When Jack Mack of Jack Mack and the Heart Attack sings the line, "T-U-F-F, you're so tuff," he ain't talking about the guys in this film. No way, man. He's referring to the vision of loveliness in the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Being (Jackie Kong, 1983)
She manages the annual Easter Egg hunt; she's leading the charge to make Pottsville, Idaho smut-free by the end of 1983; she hosts opera recitals in her home (much to the chagrin of her opera-hating...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Blood Diner (Jackie Kong, 1987)
Since the sight of Carl Crew spitting the bloodied chunks of flesh he had just bitten from the leg of Jimmy Hitler in Lisa Elaina's face is probably the funniest thing I've seen in years, it only makes...
View ArticleClik here to view.
She Mob (1968)
Holy crap! Are you sitting down? Okay, check this shit out: Big Shim and Brenda McClain are played the same actress! Isn't that crazy? I'm sorry, I know that was an abrupt way to start a movie review,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Nightmares (Joseph Sargent, 1983)
My misguided attempt to watch everything in the cinematic oeuvre of Moon Unit Zappa continues abated with her brief yet integral appearance in the horror anthology, Nightmares, a film that includes...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Convent of Sinners (Joe D'Amato, 1986)
Here's a wacky idea, if you don't want the nuns living in your convent to turn to the soft embraces and gentle caressing that only properly administrated lesbianism can provide, don't put them in black...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Class of 1984 (Mark L. Lester, 1982)
Believe it or not, but you can learn a lot by watching Class of 1984--written and directed by Mark L. Lester (Roller Boogie), co-written Tom Holland (Fright Night)--from start to finish. For example,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Mark of the Whip (Roman Nowicki, 2005)
Wrapping around your slender frame with an unpredictable cruelty, the whip lashes against your flesh at the behest of The Fantom Whipper, the primary whip-wielder in the whip-tastic Mark of the Whip,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Suburbia (Penelope Spheeris, 1983)
Wild dogs tearing apart toddlers, shirtless skinheads sexually assaulting chic new wavers while Casey Royer looks on with a snotty brand of indifference, what has the world come to? Just kidding, I...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Boys Next Door (Penelope Spheeris, 1985)
When the two protagonists at the centre of The Boys Next Door started discussing where they would like to go after they're done crashing their high school graduation party, I must admit, I got a little...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Oracle (Roberta Findlay, 1985)
Her arms--sheathed, no doubt, in sleeves that are puffy in nature--always hang stiffly at her side, especially when she investigates strange noises in her apartment. And her tongue has a peculiar habit...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Assault! Jack the Ripper (Yasuharu Hasebe, 1976)
For some time now, I've been guilty of employing overly crude wordplay to describe the act of making love. You know what I'm talking about, I have a tendency to use unorthodox language when it comes to...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Watcher in the Attic (Naboru Tanaka, 1976)
Since I'm still, hours after having watched The Watcher in the Attic (a.k.a. Edogawa Rampo ryōkikan: yaneura no sanposha -- I think that's right), trying to wrap my head around the part of the film...
View Article