Clik here to view.
Hellraiser (Clive Barker, 1987)
Lurking in the shadows, patiently waiting for the right moment to strike, you might not know it yet but evil incarnate has moved in upstairs. And get this, they desperately want to feel the warmness of...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Janitor (TJ Nordaker and Andy Signore, 2003)
Custodian. Janitor. Custodian. Janitor. Never has the discrepancy between what a particular group calls themselves and what others choose to call said particular group been so vast. It goes something...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Wild Zero (Tetsuro Takeuchi, 1999)
Yeah, baby! Rock 'n' Roll!!!! (Um, excuse me. I think you meant to say, "Yeah, baby! Jet Rock 'n' Roll!!!") Whatever, man. You're annoying habit of contradicting me isn't going to get me down from the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Hollywood Cop (Amir Shervan, 1987)
Hollywood cop?!? Yeah, right. Hollywood opportunist is more like it. Swooping in like a hungry vulture who has just spotted a wounded wildebeest, Det. Turquoise (David Goss, who, you might remember,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (Tony Randel, 1988)
Is there such a thing as too much crazy? The opening chapter in the series gave us the gourmet batshit we desire in small, economic doses. Teasing us with some hooked flesh here, some splattered guts...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Toxic Avenger (1984)
Am I crazy or are the first fifteen minutes of The Toxic Avenger the greatest fifteen minutes ever to be captured on film? What's that? Oh, I am crazy. Whew, that's a relief. For a second there, I...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Driller (Joyce James, 1984)
While it's nowhere near as titillating as the tragically non-existent "Owner of a Lonely Heart" porn parody, "Boner in a Lonely Tart" (dig the scene where an out of work sex slave is forced to perform...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Entrails of a Virgin (Kazuo Komizu, 1986)
There's always time to punch the chipmunk. But say you didn't feel like pawing at your own genitals (masturbatory malaise is more widespread than you think), would you except the severed hand a...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Toxic Avenger Part II (1989)
Her name is different, yet she's still blind?!? I'm confused. I mean, am I supposed to believe that Melvin, a.k.a. The Toxic Avenger, or just plain Toxie, the first hideously deformed monster hero of...
View ArticleClik here to view.
I Drink Your Blood (David Durston, 1970)
Enjoy her large, broad hips and her thick thighs while you can, fellas, because she's totally about to give each and everyone of you a serious case of rabies. Presenting one of her inner thighs like it...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Click: The Calendar Girl Killer (1990)
You've heard the expression: Don't judge a book by its cover, right? Well, in the case of Click: The Calendar Girl Killer, it's more like: Don't judge a movie by its screencaps. If you were, you would...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie (1989)
While I haven't forgotten the leggy legacy that is Andree Maranda in the original The Toxic Avenger, it's impossible to deny the amount of girlish spunk, forthright sticktoitiveness and pure,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders (Howard Ziehm, 1990)
Talking turds, racially diverse cosmic cheerleaders, jizz-laden vaginal slip 'n' slides, ape piss swept aside by starship windshield wipers, black stockings, big hair, giant transsexual cocks who walk...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Gwendoline (Just Jaeckin, 1984)
As I was wading through the first hour of Gwendoline, I would often think to myself: This is not what I signed up for. I mean, ugh. In case you're wondering what the first hour of Just Jaeckin's...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV (2000)
It's been roughly ten years since we last heard from Melvin Junko, a.k.a. The Toxic Avenger, "Toxie" to his friends, the hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength from Tromaville, New...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tough Guys Don't Dance (Norman Mailer, 1987)
Oh, man! Oh God! Oh, man! It's time to stop beating around the bush and sit down, or lounge seductively with your shapely legs crossed in a manner specifically designed to drive all the men in the room...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Flesh Gordon (Howard Ziehm, 1974)
The tenants of porno chic and state of the art visual effects repeatedly collide with one another in the deliriously campy Flesh Gordon, the raunchy space adventure from... Ugh, I don't like that at...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Troma's War (1988)
Who would have thought that a meticulously planned full-scale invasion of the United States of America would ultimately be thwarted by a woman wearing yellow flats? Sure, there were others sporting...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Showgirls (Paul Verhoeven, 1995)
Is it possible for someone to do everything wrong, yet still manage to succeed in life? What am I saying? Of course it's possible. In fact, I'd say more half the world's population fits neatly into...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (Danny Steinmann, 1985)
Even though there are a total of three writers credited with penning the script for Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, don't expect much as far as character development goes. Realizing this halfway...
View Article